


these hands are meant to hold.

by worth_the_risk



Series: I For You [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anxiety, Best Friends, Encouragement, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Jack & Shitty as Frogs, M/M, Supportive Shitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worth_the_risk/pseuds/worth_the_risk
Summary: There are a select few times over the course of Jack and Shitty’s friendship when Jack, frozen like the Pond in January, has to be told to move.





	1. Chapter 1

“Jacques, brah, why you throwing on the brakes?” They were at the back of the line to hit the ice for warmup with the rest of their freshmen teammates. Jack was quaking on his skates. Of course their season opener was away, of _course_ it was Yale, _of course his parents were here_.

Shitty’s eyebrows knitted together and he turned Jack so his back was against the wall. He dropped his gloves and cupped Jack’s face in his hands. “Breathe. C’mon. In, breathe in with me.” He pressed his chest forward, largely pantomiming the movement so Jack had more than one sensory cue to follow. “Good, out. In, out. In, out.”

Coach Murray peeked around the corner looking aggravated and Shitty waved him off, pointing at Jack. Murray nodded and disappeared back toward the bench.

“Shitty–” Jack’s voice echoed around the hallway, somehow still audible over the roar coming from the rink.

“Nope, not yet, just breathe for me, okay? We’ll talk in a few minutes.”

Jack nodded, blinked back tears, and kept pace with the exaggerated rise and fall of Shitty’s chest. Minutes ticked past, and Shitty’s vision started to swim from the deep breathing.

“Phew, shit.” He blinked. “I’m getting a little dizzy.”

The corner of Jack’s mouth quirked up. “The room isn’t spinning anymore.”

“I got you bro, I siphoned it off of you.” Shitty clapped Jack’s shoulder, smiling when his friend outright laughed. He looked back at Jack, suddenly serious. “You’ve got this, you know? We’ve got this. You’re not going out there alone.”

“It’s just.” Jack sighed and shrugged. “I’m scared. I’m scared of the press, of embarrassing my teammates, my coaches. Myself.”

“Your father?” Shitty’s right eyebrow quirked up.

Jack glared at him, then relented and nodded. “I’ve already let him down once. I don’t think I’ll manage well if I do it again.” He looked at the ground.

“Jack Zimmermann, I have met your father all of two times and I can tell you this right now: he loves you. A lot. He doesn’t care if you suck at hockey for the rest of recorded time as long as you’re alive and trying to be happy. You did not let him down by surviving an addiction.” Shitty tilted Jack’s chin up and waited until he made eye contact. “Are you here for your dad or are you here because you love hockey?”

His voice wobbled. “I’m here because I love hockey.” His eyes were steely.

“Then let’s go do what we love.” He helped Jack off the wall and swatted his ass for good measure. “And look way too good doing it.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Jack, we share a fucking bathroom. We’re fucking bathroom buddies.” Shitty jumped on his best friend’s back, locking his legs around his waist and squeezing him. Jack laughed, hooked his arms under Shitty’s thighs, and kept walking along the quad. Shitty leaned up and over, peering at Jack’s expression. “There was something off about that laugh, my buddy, my pal.”

“Everything’s fine, Shitty.”

“You’re lucky you’ve got such a beautiful face. Beautiful, honest, terrible-at-acting face.” He squeezed his thighs around Jack’s waist. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know if I’m going to take my dibs.”

“ _Pardon?_ ”

“Your accent is still so bad, how–”

“I studied Spanish, you dipstick. What do you mean you don’t know if you want to be my bathroom buddy?”

Jack huffed and patted his friend’s thigh, helping him down on the stairs in front of Founder’s. “I already feel weird enough being elected captain. I’ve only been here a year–”

“And you’ve played more hockey in your lifetime than our first two lines combined–”

“Shitty.” Jack frowned at him while he opened the door.

“Sorry. Continue.” He pantomimed locking his mouth and handed Jack the invisible key.

Jack sighed, heavy-hearted. He held his tongue until they’d settled at their usual table.

“I don’t know if it’s the best idea that I move into the Haus.”

Shitty leaned forward, genuine concern coloring his features. “Why?”

He knitted his fingers together to stop his hands from shaking, and Shitty rested his knuckles against the back of Jack’s hand. “Well, with just being elected captain, I don’t know how that would play out. And I know there’s a lot of parties and things like that – stuff I can’t or shouldn’t really participate in – and I don’t want them to think I’m judging them or condemning them for it by not joining in.”

“Are you going to try to make them stop?”

“As long as it’s not interfering with practices or games, they’re adults.” Jack shrugged and started picking at his nails. “I’m their captain, not their father.”

“Then they’re not going to give a shit.” Shitty gently separated Jack’s hands and held one in each of his own. “What else?”

Jack looked down and away. “What if–” he took a slow breath. “What if they don’t like me? Or don’t understand that when I’m anxious I need to be left alone for the most part? Then I’m stuck in my room and feel trapped and don’t feel welcome or like I can come or go.”

Shitty’s eyebrows furrowed. “Jack…”

“I can’t be in that kind of situation. It’s not good for me to not have anywhere to go.”

“I don’t think that will happen but, in the event that it does, would your parents not help you out in getting an apartment or something?”

“That’d feel even worse, Shits. Like I was tucking tail and running away.”

“No one would look at it like that, everyone would understand.”

Jack cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in his seat, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, and groaned.

“Worst case scenario: you and I come and go by climbing up and down the tree in the front yard. Then we don’t have to deal with Marsh and everybody else.”

Jack peeked out from behind his hands. Shitty was shrugging and smiling.

“I think you should move in. I think it’ll go a hundred times better than you could hope for it to go.”

He let his front chair legs fall back onto the carpet and nodded, tentative and quick.

“You’ll do it?” Shitty’s eyes and smiled widened when Jack nodded again, and he launched himself across the table to lock his best friend in a bone-crushing hug. “Fuck yeah, man! I’m proud of you.” Scooting off the table and into Jack’s lap, he froze. “Shit, we need to agree on a fucking shower curtain now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter holding me up; the rest is already written and will follow shortly! Feel free to hit me up on tumblr - I'm thedarkirishsilence. :)


	3. Chapter 3

“What’s up, Shits?” A hard huff from the other end of the call was Jack’s only warning before the boiling pot of rage that was Shitty Knight spilled over onto him.

“Solve this riddle, Mr. Cranky. What’s small, blond, burning pies, and has a far off secret boyfriend who’s being a real cockhead?”

Jack paused for a few seconds too long, holding his breath, then: “Shitty, I don't know-”

“Shove it, Jack. Oh and don't worry, he didn't _tell me_ a damn thing, I figured it out. You two are my _best. Friends._ I thought it was fucking odd when you were both suddenly upset simultaneously, then I called Bitty and he wouldn't say more than he’d fought with his boyfriend and said boyfriend wouldn't take time off to come up and talk about it face to face. It wasn't just my glittering emerald eyes that got me into Harvard, you dipshits.”

Jack was quiet for a long moment. “I'm sorry for keeping this from you, we–”

“We’ll talk about our relationship later; right now, I'm more concerned about you two. What happened, for fuck’s sake?”

“We were both tired and stressed and I was supposed to come get him for the weekend before I had that charity thing on Friday and I slept through my alarm and didn't have enough time to drive up and back. His feelings were hurt and I got anxious and then defensive and then angry and he responded in kind. It.” Jack breathed heavily. “It fucking sucked.”

“You don't have games until this weekend, I don't get why you can't drive up.”

“It's not that easy, Shits.”

“Bullshit. Cite a personal emergency and duck out. They aren't going to-”

“He's got an exam next week and they've got games and-”

“You think he can focus on any of that right now when the last thing you said to him was ‘I love you, but I can't do this right now?’ Dude, he thinks you're leaving him. Like, done-zo.” There was a heavy silence on the line. “If you are, he needs to know for sure, and I think that's something you need to do in person. He deserves that much from you, at least.”

“Fuck.” Jack was silent.

“Is that what's-”

“ _No,_ I can't believe I - shit, I meant the _argument,_ not our relationship. I got so busy I didn't even think about checking in with him after, and he hasn't been answering my texts. I thought he was busy or still mad or both or-”

“Do not commit a crime against my gas tank and the environment and make me drive all the way down there to get you and then back up this way because so help me God you big beautiful idiot I will beat your ass–”

“I'm getting my overnight bag together, breathe. Jesus.”

“Jesus got his shit together in three days, we’re five days into the cardinal sin that is you hurting my small southern bro. Watch yourself, Zimmermann.” His heart dropped a little when he heard Jack sniffle. “Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, I haven't even fucking asked if you're okay. Are you?”

“I'm very, _very_ mad at myself right now. But it's good to know that Eric’s got somebody so willing to hit the war path for him.”

“Ride or die, motherfucker. For both of you. I mean it. I've loved you longer, babe. That'll never change.”

“I love you too, Shitty.”

“So.”

“So?”

“You really love him, huh?”

“Yes. So much.”

“I call best man. Well, one of the best men, I suppose.”

“ _Shitty_ -”

“Drive safe, but drive fast. And now that I'm part of the inner circle I demand cute snapchats after you're done making up. I think I've earned that with this phone call.”

“That's fair. Bye, Shitty.”

“Bye, Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The zimbits has arrived!!  
> There'll probably be a few days until the next one as I'm doing an overhaul on the final chapter and am trying to avoid the month-long gap from last time.  
> Come say hi on tumblr! I'm thedarkirishsilence. :)


	4. Chapter 4

The snow floated down around them in lacy spirals, catching in Jack’s newly shorn hair and Shitty’s mustache. Shoppers wrapped up in much thicker coats and scarves than they were bustled past, fleeing the oncoming storm that the best friends were meandering through.

“Fuck, I love the first snow of December every year. Just feels different, you know? Like it’s full of holiday magic or some shit.” Shitty stuck his tongue out and caught flake after flake, narrowly avoiding running chin-first into a light pole thanks to Jack fisting his hand in the back of Shitty’s peacoat.

“Careful, Shits.” Jack chuckled, tucking his hand back into his pocket and looking at the shop fronts they were passing. They’d been on the hunt for gifts for their friends and Jack’s parents for the last few hours and had so far been unsuccessful.

“Am I right about the magic, though? There's just something in the air right now. Well, I mean, obviously,” he gesticulated violently at the falling snow, “but you know what I mean?” He turned to clap Jack’s shoulder and started when he wasn't there. He spun around, slipping a little on the freezing sidewalk.

Jack was leaning over in front of a window about thirty feet behind him, breath fogging the glass. One gloved hand was hovering close to the pane. As Shitty jogged back to where his friend had stopped, something small punched him very hard in the heart when he saw that the shop was a jeweler’s.

Heart rate climbing because he _so_ already knew the answer to this question, he lightly asked, “Find something for Ma?”

Jack looked over at him, eyes wide and bright, teeth worrying his upper lip. “No, uh. Not for- not for Maman. Look at this one.” He tapped the glass and pulled Shitty closer so that he could see where Jack was pointing.

Little and shining bright as all get out in the whitewashed light from outside was a ring. Three thin bands of silver braided around each other, nestled into a burgundy velvet box. As unassuming and simple as it was hugely significant.

“Oh, shit. Oh. Shitting. Christ.”

“It looks like the braids he always uses in his lattices when he’s happy.” A soft, private smile eased onto his best friend’s face and oh God, Shitty Knight is going to cry.

“You're nothing if you're not a sentimental fuck, Jack...  _Bittle_.” Jack stared at him, dumbfounded and slack-jawed, eyebrows heading for his hairline. “Oh, Jesus. What a pretty blush. So  _do you_ want to take his name?”

“Well, I don't know,” Jack stammered. “No one’s ever said that out loud before though and I just. You took me by surprise. Stop laughing!”

“I'm happy! Let me live! Let me bask in the magical moment that is me and my best friend standing in this first Christmas snow deciding on the engagement ring he’s going to give to my _other_ best friend!”

Jack smiled and pulled him into a tight hug. “I'm really gonna do this.” He laughed into Shitty's neck.

“Yeah you are.”

“Wow.”

“This is happening.”

“It really is.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.

“Dude, you actually gotta go _inside_ and _buy it_ before you can ask him.”

“I don't quite think I can move right now, Shits.”

Shitty yanked the door open and pulled Jack inside, both of them laughing. “Nope. You're doing this now. You will not take this gilded memory from me.”

The bell above the door tinkled behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all's comments and kudos make my day. <3   
> Only two chapters left! Next week I have 12+ pages of original drafts and a midterm so the next two chapters may come a little more slowly than these middle few have, but keep hanging in there like you have been! Thank you so much for reading.  
> Come say hi on tumblr - I'm thedarkirishsilence :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack squeezed his best man’s shoulder. “I love you, Shits.”
> 
> “I love you too, now hug me, you big sap.”

“Almost time, brah.” They were standing in front of the full-length mirror in the corner near the door, Jack plucking at his vest and tie, Shitty smoothing back the few flyaways that had escaped his tidy bun. Shitty clapped his hands onto Jack’s shoulders and shook him gently. “Bitty’s finally gonna make an honest man of you. Ready to go get him?” Shitty’s smile faltered when he saw the nerves on Jack’s face, felt the tension in his shoulders under his hands. “What’s hiding behind those baby blues? Talk to me.”

“This is just...big? Y’know?” Jack started cracking his knuckles, pulling on his fingers one at a time. 

“I don’t know man, the future Mr. Z is pretty small by industry standards.” Shitty grinned and Jack’s mouth pulled up into a crooked, half-hearted smile. “Yeah, I get it. It’s a lot beginning and ending at the same time.”

“And it’s all hitting me at once.” Jack’s breath shook out of him. “I know I want this more than anything, I know he’s it for me, I’m just getting really overwhelmed by the weight of it all.”

“If anyone can handle this kind of pressure, it’s you, my friend.”

“Yeah?” 

“You didn't want anybody looking at you at all for so long and now you shoulder the whole world for one person. Well, for two people – both of you. Because you love him, and he loves you. You're not in this alone. Not before and never again.”

Jack nodded and straightened his tie, smiling softly. Shitty scrubbed the back of his hand across his eyes and took a shaky breath. 

“I am so fucking proud of you, man.”

“Thank you for always being here for me. Whether I know I need you or think I don’t, no matter what, you don't let me down.” Jack squeezed his best man’s shoulder. “I love you, Shits.”

“I love you too, now hug me, you big sap.” Shitty threw his arms around his best friend and tucked his face into his neck. Jack tightened his hold before dropping his hands to Shitty’s biceps. 

“Have you got–”

He patted his ticket pocket and there was the faint click of metal on metal. “Right here.”

“Then I guess we should, uh. Go get my fiancé.”

“Last time you’ll ever say that in the present tense.” Shitty lightly hopped from foot to foot.

“That’s why I said it.” Jack grinned, all hesitation gone.

“Then,” Shitty opened the door and gestured for Jack to go ahead of him, “let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was short, but the next one is longer and - surprise! I'm planning on posting the alternate last chapter (which is more from jack's perspective than shitty's) AND there's an epilogue. That's going to start off a new series. Whoops. 
> 
> Thanks to Robin for being an awesome beta through this. This'll be the first series I've planned and completed and I'm really excited about it.
> 
> Thank you all for your kudos and comments. They make my day :) 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr! I'm thedarkirishsilence.


	6. Chapter 6

Shitty Knight was not a morning person. One of his favorite things about his fiancée was that she was also very much not a morning person. So, when the phone went off at 3:12 AM on July 6 and Larissa swore aloud before rolling away from the cocoon of his arms to pick it up, he smiled.

As soon as she answered, he heard the familiar but unusually loud voice of his best friend launch into some sort of tirade.

“Jack, hey, hold on, I–” she yawned, “I’ll wake him up.”

“Already up. Phone me brah.” She handed him the phone and pulled the comforter up over her shoulders, watching his face to try and piece together what had Jack so riled so early. “Jack?” He yawned. “You okay, man?”

“Ruth’s water broke, we’re on our way to the hospital right now. I know it's a week early and if you can't make it it’s fine but–”

Shitty shot up out of bed and immediately tripped over his clothes from yesterday. He flailed his arms at Lardo to urge her out of bed. “Shut the hell up so I can get off the phone and get dressed and be down there before my godkid enters the world without my supervision.” She gasped and jumped up, grabbing her robe and running to the bathroom. “Wait! You okay?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. Then I love you both and I'll see you in an hour.”

“Love you too. And Lardo. Bye.”

“Bye!” 

***

Larissa pulled into a space on the level above the access bridge in the hospital parking garage. Before she’d turned the car off, Shitty flung his door open and went to leap out of the car, swore, undid his seatbelt, and  _ then _ jumped out of his seat.

“Dude, wait!” She tucked the parking permit they’d paid for on their way in down by the air vents on the dashboard and slammed the door shut, hitting the lock on the fob twice and jogging after him. “Your legs are so much longer than mine, this isn’t fair!” 

He circled back around and squatted in front of her, patting on his back and holding his hands out behind him. “Then hop up, babe. We’ve got places to go and babies to kiss.” She laughed and jumped onto his back, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing his cheek. “Onward!”

He slowed down when they reached the door, letting Lardo reach out with her foot and push the door open in front of them. They made their way through the lobby like that, and when they approached the desk, the receptionist cracked a smile. 

“How can I help you two today? Twisted ankle?”

“Nah, our godchild is being born today! Could you point us in the direction of the delivery waiting room?”

His grin widened and he pointed toward the elevator. “Third floor. For safety reasons, though, I’m going to have to ask you to hop on down, ma’am.”

“Oh, spoilsport!” Lardo teased, unlocking her ankles and landing hard, stretching her legs. As they headed to the elevator, she shook her head. “I’m almost too old for piggyback rides, Shits.”

“Never say that again.”

***

Jack was pacing. Had been pacing for about two hours now. Eric caught Shitty’s eye and shook his head, shooting a worried glance at his husband, before he went back to crocheting little lavender granny squares at a frankly astonishing rate.

Jack had already straightened every unoccupied chair in the waiting room while trying to look like he was doing it at leisure; walked down to the cafeteria to buy Alexei a coffee and himself a hot chocolate; called Justin and updated him and Adam on the lack of news; and now he was wearing out the tile, weaving his way around the little maze of faded, upholstered seating. Alicia had tried to engage him in conversation, distract him from his small-scale epic journey, but after four curt answers she gave up and went back to chatting with Eric. Shitty patted Bob on the knee at a sensible break in their conversation and rose, leaving his fiancée to chat with the very nervous soon-to-be grandfather.

He sidled over to a corner on Jack’s track, leading him so he could intercept him away from everyone else. Jack nearly bumped into him. “Whoa, man. You’re gonna wear a hole through to the floor below.” He rested a hand on his best friend’s chest, both to keep him in place and subtly check his heart rate. “Normally I can’t get you to budge; now you won’t sit still?”

Jack smiled ruefully. “I’m not anxious, Shits.”

“No?” Shitty cocked an eyebrow.

“I’m impatient.” Jack’s eyes grew brighter at the acknowledgment.

“That’s fair.” Shitty crossed over to where Eric was sitting and fell into the chair next to him. “Proceed.” Eric’s eyes flashed daggers at him.

“Actually, will you go for a walk with me?” The daggers were now trained squarely on Jack, who smiled and leaned down to kiss the sharp frown off his husband’s face. “We won’t go far and I’ll keep my phone in my hand.”

“I’m only okay with this because I know how fast you’ll get back here if I call you.” Eric cupped Jack’s cheek in his hand and kissed him again, stern expression melting away. “Don’t be gone long, this waiting is hard enough with you with me.”

“I promise.”

***

“How’s the wedding planning going?” Jack tucked his hands into the pockets of his zip-up as they walked through the little garden in the courtyard.

“Great. You know, any time we get riled up over something or stressed because my family are being douche canoes? We just pack a bowl and we’re back to stress-neutral. I love her so much, Jack.” They both giggled behind their hands for a few moments before falling into silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was heavy with the weight of how much would change within the next few hours. 

“Eric seems stressed.”

“He's sad that his parents aren't here. I am, too, to be honest.” Jack side-eyed Shitty, mouth downturned. 

Shitty raised his eyebrows. “I'm glad that you two and his folks are getting on well, now.”

“Me, too.” Jack sighed and fell silent. The sound of soles on gravel echoed off the brick for a long moment. 

“Are you ready?”

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I’m ready to see just exactly how not ready I am. If that makes any kind of sense whatsoever.” Shitty nodded and waited, sensing that there was more to come. “I can’t wait to meet them, I can’t wait to bring them home and be done waiting to bring them home. I want this so badly, this chance to do better for someone than our parents did for us. To love them and help prepare them to be ready to take on anything.”

“This kid will always know where home is.” Shitty linked his arm through Jack’s. Jack blinked away his unexpected reaction to that loaded phrase. “I mean, hell, as long as the little shit has a nose they’ll be able to smell the pie for miles. Oof!” He rubbed his side where Jack had elbowed him. “I earned that.”

***

Eric had begun running a thick needle between completed squares and stitching them into a blanket by the time they returned. Alexei was sitting with him and Jack smiled; he was chattering away to the defenseman, doing his best to explain the basics of crocheting. As they crossed the room from the elevator, Eric looked up and smiled. “You two feel better?” Shitty nodded, heading over to where Lardo and the elder Zimmermanns were having a powwow about event planning pitfalls. 

Jack crossed to the empty seat next to Eric and sat, kissing him. “Much better.”

Eric’s eyes fluttered open as his husband pulled away and a soft smile played on his lips, the deep furrows on his forehead smoothing away into their normal faint lines. “Good, now help me keep this yarn untangled. The cake came undone in my bag.”

“I try, I fail.” Alexei shrugged and handed the muddled yarn across Eric’s lap to Jack. 

“Hello, I’m looking for the Zimmermann family?” An attending with a clipboard let the door swing shut behind her. Everyone in the room stood up in anticipation, sans the one older woman who’d been sitting in the corner looking appalled at the rowdy group around her. 

“Specifically the parents,” she laughed, and they all sat, save the two she was here for. Jack stuffed the messy bundle of yarn back into the bag and helped Eric get everything off his lap before locking their hands together and crossing the room. 

Jack locked eyes with him and Shitty nodded and gave a thumbs up, then brushed his hand across his eyes.

“You okay?” Lardo wove her fingers through his.

“She called them parents, man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINISHED IT omg i'm so pleased with myself right now. i just wanted to get this up today because it's fluffy and sweet and i needed that so i figured some of you would, too.  
> there's more to come with this tiny lil bean, just wait. it shouldn't be long :)  
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos :D they've kept me going through this and i appreciate it more than you know.  
> come say hi on tumblr! - i'm thedarkirishsilence


End file.
